4/13/2017: why am I listening…what is that? (:49)
(?) 2h23: “why am I listening…what is that? Who’s? Mm, hm, hm…myself. This is horrible. You want it’s…comment….hm. Ey. (clicking noise of my white noise headphones being turned back on). Alright, alrighty.” (as I turn to my side to go back to sleep).
thoughts: I believe this person, who seems to be inhabiting my body, is confused by the white noise playing in my/his ears, when he awakens in my bed/body. I use white noise in my headphone each night to block out all outside noise.
I then believe he was told by someone, who is projecting information into his brain, to shut up. And when he said “myself” it wasn’t really me, he was just trying to act like it was me to cover up him having said “what am I listening to?”.
It just feels to me to be someone trying to act like it's me, so that when I see/hear it later, I will be fooled into believing it was just me and is harmless. But, clearly I would not awaken surprised to hear the white noise I have used for years playing in my own ears.
9/18/2017: no more shining today (:20)
BL, 1h2: “Please leave me alone. Please. Thank you. No more. No more shining. No more. Shining. Today.”
thoughts: Clearly this person, or me, doesn't want to continue to shine anymore, whatever that is. I mean, I know one use of shining is like in The Shining, when the kid can perceive things that other cannot. I also know shining may simply mean performing or providing energy, like a sun, to someone.
10/14/2017: no funky waves (:31)
RS, 1h51: “No…no no no no no. No, no no. None of that nonsense. Fuck that bullshit. Not. No funky waves and shapes and feelings, just straight forward."
thoughts: Interesting. It's almost as if this guy is on some trip or some kind of virtual reality experience and is somehow thrust into my dreamscape and he's not enjoying what he is experiencing, which is more elaborate (deep), not as straightforward as he'd prefer.
11/22/2017: everyone’s gotta strut (:14)
BL, 1h24: (weird mouth noise) “Now you’re a stream. Now he’s asleep. And everyone’s asleep. And everyone’s gotta strut. And everyone’s, all this stupid bullshit."
thoughts: Someone is a stream. Now THAT'S interesting. Saying something like "everyone's gotta strut" is something I would never do. This is just another example of SOMEONE ELSE speaking through me. I'm not sure who the people are that this person is referring to or where they're located. Perhaps they exist etherically, right there in my bedroom?
7/8/2017: Its (body) being moved by someone (:55)
BL, 45m: “Mm. Hey! Ain’t that weird? It’s weird?” “You think that’s weird? How about this? How about this fact that my body…seems to move. Right there…I feel it...moving with my other hand. Something is moving. I’m moving it. It’s being moved, by someone.”
thoughts: This is obviously someone speaking through me and talking about how they can somehow move my body. Does this person even have a body to begin with? No idea, but this is some freaky shit, because it's not me speaking and in fact seems to be two different people/energies speaking through me.
10/4/2017: schwarz in there (:32)
(?), 47m: “Ohhhh. Nice. Niiiice. I know, I know I’m in there. I see me, I see me in there. I know he said Schwarz or…Schwarz. He said Schwarz. I see it. It’s…my brother’s in there, someone’s in there. Schwarz is in there”.
thoughts: Seemingly spoken by more than one person, in conversation. Schwarz is my brother Don’s last name (and was my last name at birth, even though it's not my father's last name, which is Landau), but I legally changed it and removed the "Schwarz" part in 2007. So, I'm not sure if they are referring to me as the "brother in there" or to Don as the "Schwarz is in there".
The interesting thing about this sleep talk is that later, during the same night, I had a dream involving Don Schwarz and my other brother, Scott: "Dream 5h24: I was in some house and Scott and Don showed up and they were coming to get me and were trying to get me to leave”.
1/1/2018: desh was real (:25)
BL, 53m: “pick crystabull (?). People don’t know what happened. I think it was a real crest. I was relaxed (?) and it's huge deal. DESH WAS REAL. Improv (?). It was already like that.”
thoughts: Sounds like at least 2 people speaking to each other. No idea what desh or crystabull are. It's hard to decipher much of this sleep talk. If anyone has any ideas of what is going on here, please let me know.
2/6/2017: just kept..gain (:23)
BL, 1h20m: “Woo. Yes! Lemon and just gain. Late in the evening I just…kept...gain.
thoughts: Clearly not me. I've contemplated that this is some weird dude who is somehow using lemon scented Gain detergent to get high and has somehow accidentally crossed over into my asleep body.
12/16/2017: nice. 6…6…6 (:42)
BL, 53m: “Mm! Mm mm mm! (then me singing something I don’t recognize, about kissing). Mm, nice. 6…6…6."
thoughts: The use of 666 at the end is disturbing, but may be a clue into where I'm located, or where the guy crossing over into my body is located. The whole 666 thing has come up numerous times as a clue to my reality, but I'm still being kept in the dark and used by whoever controls/manipulates my life.
3/12/2018: make him a fucking painting (:28)
BL, 53m: “Mmm…ooh. Make him a fucking (?). Make him a fucking painting right now. Make him a fucking painting on the spot. You never ever fucking made it for her. Talks something uses obvious (?)."
thoughts: This is clearly two people talking to each other, through me. I am unable to decipher the last line, but my thoughts are that somehow these beings who are coming through me suddenly have access to my life/reality. "Make him a fucking painting (you never made it for her)" seems like they are trying to create something based on what they are seeing, in order to give to some female as proof of something. No idea, really, but it's freaky as hell.
7/7/2016: I like that vibration (:18)
position/time not documented: “Mm, mm, mmm. That's a pretty good one. I like that vibration. Nice. Mm, Pretty good, in’t it? It’s pretty smooth."
thoughts: Wow, two people, seemingly, enjoying a "good vibration" together. VERY interesting.
12/6/2016: super jungleman (:38)
position/time not documented: “No no..nooo. He had a vine. Wood (weed?)…the jungle." "That’s Superman for ya. I meant that’s Super….Jungleman.”
thoughts: Seemingly two different people speaking through me. I guess I'm superman...or super jungleman (guy was probably thinking of “Tarzan”). I often seem to be judged by the TV intelligence that I research as residing on the lower frequency scale of colors (red, orange, yellow). They seem to consider people with this resonance to be animalistic. I mean, the jungle could be the concrete jungle. I do live in NYC or L.A virtually most of the time. Or they may not even be referring to me.
5/12/2017: my crocodile won’t arrive (:20)
position/time not documented: “my crocodile won’t arrive when I ordered it, ready to eat it. We’re gonna eat this alligator right now…yeah! Dig in.”
thoughts: Am I the (metaphoric) alligator they are going to eat (my energy) while in the dream state?
5/31/2016: use another camera (:19)
position/time not documented: "No. Get away from me, whatever you are. I’m not opening my eyes. Done playing those stupid games. I’m done. Use another camera.”
thoughts: This was one of the first sleep talks I recorded. I believe my eyes (or various people's eyes) are being used as cameras, so this one appears to be me or someone speaking through me, saying they don't want to do it anymore.
11/18/2016: same historic procedures (:23)
position/time not documented: “just like he said, man. Saaaaaame obnoxious, same….historic procedures."
thoughts: I wonder what these procedures are that they are referring to? I believe their is a faction who is using human bodies/energy and we're being kept in the dark about it. This sleep talk is possibly one of THEM complaining about some kind of procedure they have to follow regarding using me, in my dream state. No idea.
11/1/2016: ghosts in my bed (:16)
position/time not documented: “orion (?) …. whoo whoo (a number of times with laughter). Ghosts in my bed! Quiggly ghosts and riggly roosts!"
thoughts: Riggly roosts? I'd like to meet a riggly roost one day. But, really, this one sounds like someone else is ALSO sleeping in their bed and somehow his etheric body has somehow ended up in my body/bed, but he is still commenting on his own reality/bed, about the ghost that he believes are there with him.
4/20/2017: 4th ingredient (:28)
BL, 2h46: “degrees…more degrees stuff. It’s idea that there’s another degree…a 4th ingredient, different scenes and valender (?) would be phil (?) and oh it was like…"
thoughts: Whatever this guy is speaking about sounds fascinating.
2/19/2018: it’s got one eye (:20)
RS, 2h44: “Ooh. It’s got one eye. That’s…good enough.”
thoughts: Considering all the all seeing eye, third eye, celebs covering one eye on numerous pics, etc. shit that is referenced in "reality", this one is disturbing because it appears they are saying I only have one eye. This may be metaphor because I do know that I don't know what's really happening in my reality and feel I'm being kept in the dark, on purpose. It's the same as only having one eye and being half blind to what is REALLY going.
list of all entries from all pages, ordered by date.